TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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