idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
