i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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