I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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