if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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