I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
