do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
