You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
