you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
