I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
