My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
