HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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