You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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