i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
zippers are such a cool invention
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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