We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
