dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
handjob tips. give me some.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
