maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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