I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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