im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
