Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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