chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
