Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
