hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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