You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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