He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
