everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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