I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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