So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
