soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't deserve a penis
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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