What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
