Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
