I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
