he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
