Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
