Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
