so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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