My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
