are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
