She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
