Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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