Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
