I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
how drunk are you?
Several
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
