Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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