his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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