theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
At least life still wants to fuck me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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