Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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