she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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