i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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