need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
