She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
